


Late Night Troubles

by Acexual_Attorney



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Dissociation, Fluff and Angst, mental illness yayyy projection yayyy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:23:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9435965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acexual_Attorney/pseuds/Acexual_Attorney
Summary: Seokmin decides to text Seungkwan when it's way too late





	

**Author's Note:**

> Im so tired its 1 am i hav e school im projecting and im sad get u a boy like seungkwan tho he a real sweetheart im posting htis from mobil & i have t proof read it im a mess gd

Seokmin isn’t sure how he got here, how he got in this situation and this headspace, mind overwhelmed and body empty. He can’t feel anything but at the same time he feels too much and he doesn’t know how he let himself slip so far.

(He knows exactly how. He forgot to take his medicine that morning and bottled up his feelings just like his therapist told him not to do. He’s always been a rebel, though.)

And maybe it’s the looming thought of death or the too many thoughts racing in his head or the fact that he knows no one really loves him, that he’s just one person out of billions and easily replaceable that makes him turn to his phone for comfort. He always worked on impulse when it comes to dealing with his depression, and now, at 2:34 in the morning, is no exception.

He pulls up the last contact he texted, and it’s no surprise to himself that it’s Seungkwan. He doesn’t think as he types, stomach churning and he feels like he’ll be sick.

SK: Imsorry

SK: Im sorry Im not good enough and Imm sorry I cant be better for you please forgive me I dont know what to do ppease Im so so sorry

Tears threaten to fall. He shouldn’t have stayed up so late, he always lost himself after midnight.

SK: Please I love you I cant I dont knwo what to do I need help pleasee

He regretted sending the last message immediately, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He would have to apologize in the morning, when he wasn’t sick to his stomach and wishing he was dead.

He almost dropped his phone when three little dots appeared at the bottom of the screen.

SG: hyung?

SG: are you okay?

SG: do you wanna talk??

He panicked for a moment before texting back.

SK: No its okay Im sorry I bothered you

SK: Go back to sleep Im sorry

Seungkwan didn’t text back, and Seokmin didn’t know if he should be relieved or what. He felt like crying, like ripping out his vocal chords and screaming until he went hoarse. He couldn’t though, that would wake up the neighbors at best and get him sent to rehab at worst (He went to rehab once, when he was a teenager, and it wasn’t fun. They locked everything up and he couldn’t wear shoes or whisper. It was horrible.)

Instead, he just sat in his bed, letting his mind take over. He felt restless but was too tired to get up and do something. Hopefully Seungkwan wouldn’t be too mad at him for interrupting his sleep, he couldn’t handle Seungkwan when he was angry because it always made Seokmin feel inadequate, like he wasn’t trying hard enough, even if it wasn’t his fault. Everything felt like his fault.

He can’t remember how the time passed, his memory has been getting worse the last few days. Random hours just disappear from his brain, leaving him confused and panicked in his kitchen when he doesn’t remember how he got there in the first place. He can’t do anything about it, but there’s a knock on his door so hours must have passed if it’s morning already.

He somehow dragged himself out of his bed and trudged to the door. He knows he looks like a mess, hair greasy from not taking a shower in so long and puffy eyes from not sleeping. His cheeks are wet and eyes red from tears he doesn’t remember shedding. He doesn’t care though, he knows he should, but he can’t find it in himself to be presentable to whoever is at the door.

He pulls open the door and the first thing he sees is that it’s still dark outside, so not as much time passed as he first thought. The second thing he sees is Seungkwan, still in his pajamas, standing on his porch.

Seokmin stares at him, and this must be a dream because Seungkwan doesn’t say anything, just pulls Seokmin into a hug. The silence continues as Seungkwan pulls away and shuts the door behind him. He tugs Seokmin to the living room where he sits the both of them down and gathers Seokmin into his arms.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Seungkwan asks gently, fingers carding through Seokmin’s hair.

Seokmin can’t speak, tears are caught in his throat and he feels to overwhelmed to form words. All he can do is clutch Seungkwan hard and press his face into his chest, shaking his head.

“That’s okay,” Seungkwan whispers and kisses the top of Seokmin’s forehead. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but I want you to know you’re not a bother. You never will be. I love you, Seokmin hyung, and I always will, please remember that.”

Seokmin is almost shaking with gratitude, and he somehow finds it within himself to swallow the lump that blocked his words so he could croak out a small “Thank you.” He doesn’t know what he did to deserve such a kind person like Seungkwan.

**Author's Note:**

> [Kill me scoob](polybooseoksoon.tumblr.com)


End file.
